Posts Tagged ‘discipline’
It seems epidemic these days: an undercurrent of stress and anxiety thrums at the heart of parenting, even for the most “conscious” parents. In fact, probably even more for the really conscious, attuned ones — ever more conscious and attuned to our shortcomings!
How about you — do you feel this parenting stress? Do you perpetually feel like you’re a just a little behind the 8-ball, probably missing some crucial enrichment opportunity so now your child will be behind? I have some thoughts on this, and an awesome FREE resource for you to turn it around. Read more at Mothering.
And / or, if you want to zip straight to the awesome free resource for you to turn it around, here you go — it’s a webinar happening this week, so save your spot!!
Thursday, October 22 | 11am OR 4pm Pacific
I thank you ten times a day for the depth and richness
yet simplicity your work has introduced into our already
thriving little family. ~ Elizabeth Bolden, mother of two sons
Past related posts:
Ease Parenting Stress Through Mastery
How A Coach Helps
AuthoritaTIVE Parenting Not AuthoritaRIAN Parenting
Tags: culture, discipline, parents, stress
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It makes me sad that so many parents not only struggle with parenting, but struggle with the very fact that they are struggling and might need some expert help! In every other endeavor in which art meets skill, coaching is a central and valued element. With the Olympics upon us, we are vividly reminded that from ice skating to acting, baseball to ballet, soccer to singing, the really gifted world-class contenders wouldn’t make a move or a toe-loop without their coaches.
It’s funny to me that parent coaching appears to many as a luxury or extravagance — or even unnecessary. Or worse, evidence that you are failing somehow, or less-than. Parent coaching, like all other coaching, helps by holding a vision of success when you, for whatever reason, cannot. A coach sees the powers inside you and guides their unfolding. In singing, soccer, life in general — and in parenting. {Read more at mothering.com}
Tags: angry parents, discipline, parent coaching, parenting, toddler discipline
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How in the World Do We Lose the Stress and Loosen Up??!
The more calm and confident we can be as parents, the more our children “catch our calm” and things go much better all the way around. And, as one of my favorite parent educator / psychologists, Lawrence Cohen, points out, our kids really need us to loosen up and be more playful and easy-going!
Problem is, there is a massive epidemic of UNcalm and UNconfidence out there amongst parents. This puts a HUGE damper on “playful” and “easy-going”! I’ve decided it’s time to offer some healing balm & helpful tools, at my FREE TELESEMINAR:
The Secret to Being the Parent You Long to Be ~
Here’s the Missing PEACE!
Free training in your own home, with Dr. Marcy Axness
Tags: discipline, frustration, how to parent, parent, parenting, respect, stress, tantrums
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So there you are one afternoon, at the end of your rope with an out-of-control three-year-old. You know you won’t spank him, and you have become mindful of avoiding shame-based measures, so what’s left? Is “Time Out” the answer?
At risk of adding stress to already stressed-out parents, my answer is no. Time-outs were conceived as a more humane alternative to spanking, but the problem is, they land a blow to the brain and psyche rather than to the bottom.
{Read the rest of this post at mothering.com}
…and meanwhile, if you’re wondering about OTHER ways to bring more peace & calm to your parenting and your family… take a look-see at this!
The Secret to Being the Parent You Long to Be ~
Here’s the Missing PEACE!
Free training in your own home, with Dr. Marcy Axness
Image:
timatymusic through Creative Commons license
Tags: discipline, how to parent, time-out
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I have long said — when coaching parents 1-on-1, when speaking to groups, and in my book Parenting for Peace — that the words and parenting techniques we deploy with our children have far less shaping power on them than what’s going on in our own inner lives. While certain parenting words and actions are more effective than others, ultimately, who we ARE is of greater impact on child behavior and wellbeing than what we DO.
And now there is yet more breaking research that supports this. Scientists at U. Mass actually set out to study the impact of parents’ sexual orientation on behavior in adopted children, but what they found should be of great interest to ALL parents! {Read more at mothering.com}
Tags: child behavior, childcare, discipline, gay, lesbian, sexual orientation, straight
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I include many guidelines about what to say and what not to say to your children in my book Parenting for Peace, but have never gathered them into one user-friendly post. And yet many parents find this level of specificity (“Say this, do not say this”) to be the most helpful of all. It is often the “way in” to a deeper understanding of the nuances and philosophy underlying the seven Parenting for Peace principles. (Yikes — I just realized that in a year of blogging since my book came out, I’ve yet to write a post just about the seven principles. Hard to believe! That will be coming soon…)
Immediate honesty: I didn’t write this post! I’m still in recuperation mode from my NY family trip so figured this was a way to hook you up with excellent content while still getting my suitcases unpacked, my daughter’s UPS boxes stored away, and my INbox whittled down. This is a post on Lifehacker by Shelly Phillips that I heartily endorse. I would like to have written it! And not only is the post itself excellent, but the discussion following is a little mind-blowing. Some of the comments…! Perhaps I should stop wishing for more comments to my posts, or else I’ll get some like these. (I know it’s great to have lively dialogue, but puh-leeze…!) So here you go:
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Tags: authoritative parenting, discipline, parenting
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“I had to love her enough to let her hate me.” It was a stunning and very wise thing that Carol Burnett said to the ladies on The View. Burnett said she was scared of her daughter — of saying the wrong thing, making her angry, pushing her away. (She was talking about her late daughter Carrie’s three-year struggle with addiction when she was a teen.)
While Burnett’s situation was extreme, her experience isn’t unusual. Scared, stressed-out parenting has become epidemic: many parents today feel overwhelmed and under-adequate. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Navigating life with kids as a series of crisis management incidents and tactical maneuvers. Not only is that an unpleasant way to live, research shows that parental stress reduces children’s wellbeing. A powerful antidote for stress is action, when it cultivates mastery. (more…)
Tags: authoritative parenting, Carol Burnett, discipline, parent confidence, parent stress
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So there you are one afternoon, at the end of your rope with an out-of-control three-year-old. You know you won’t spank him, and you have become mindful of avoiding shame-based measures, so what’s left? Is “Time Out” the answer? At risk of bringing on the wrath of parents everywhere, my answer is no. Time-outs were conceived as a more humane alternative to spanking, but the problem is, they land a blow to the brain and psyche rather than to the bottom.
Right at the moment when the child is overwhelmed by a flood of emotions he cannot manage, and he most needs the regulating presence — that is, close physical presence — of his attachment figure, he’s banished to his room or his “Naughty Chair” or his “Thinking Rug” or his [fill in the blank with any of a list of prettied-up names people have devised for this particular form of exile]. (more…)
Tags: attachment, brain development, discipline, Gordon Neufeld, shame, social brain, spanking, time-out
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No, Angry Parents isn’t the latest game application for your smartphone, it’s one of the biggest challenges we face when raising children! When we find ourselves as angry parents, it shifts the entire connection dynamic with our kids, and within ourselves. It isn’t a place we want to be, as totally understandable as it is. There are tools that can help us develop more mastery over our own anger, and create more ease and confidence in our parenting.
It is helpful to keep in mind that most of the time, anger is simply a disguise for another feeling. A somewhat overly simplified slogan is nevertheless instructive: mad is really sad. I would add that mad is very often hurt, or some variation. (more…)
Tags: anger, calm authority, Daniel Siegel, discipline, Non Violent Communication, NVC, shame, spanking, teens
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