Archive for the ‘Parenting for Peace’ Category

From “Supermom” to Sane & Centered Mom

From Supermom to Sane, Centered MomIt seems epidemic these days: an undercurrent of anxiety thrums at the heart of parenting. Do you perpetually feel like you’re a just a little behind the 8-ball, missing some crucial opportunity that’s going to put your child behind? Yikes, we didn’t play Mozart through speakers on our pregnant belly, we didn’t use the latest pre-reading iPad app, we didn’t get in on that whiz-bang college-prep (or high-school prep, or for that matter, pre-school prep) program!

If this rings a bell, I feel nothing but compassion for you. We’ve all been conditioned to jump (or get jumpy) when the endless smorgasbord of choices glistens before us, beckoning with a glut of possibilities for that perfect something that will fill in the gaps of our insufficiency. (more…)

Talking to Children About Tragic Events: The Help of Temperaments

Talking to children about tragic eventsWhen talking to children about tragic events, understanding individual temperament can be a great help. In my earlier 9/11 post, I focused mainly on two important aspects for the parent:

  • the fundamental need for some measure of self-possession and calm amidst outer events
  • a level of honesty and clarity in speaking to the child about the events that is not the norm in our culture

Especially related to that second point — honesty and clarity for the child — I want to dive a bit deeper and look at the importance of knowing your individual child, and letting that understanding guide you with more specificity and nuance when navigating the delicate territory of tragedy with them. {Read the rest of this post at mothering.com}

Image by:
obbino (Flickr / Creative Commons)

Raising Secure Kids in a Scary World: Talking to Children About Tragedy

Eleven years since 9/11.

Eleven years ago last night, our daughter Eve — then ten years old — was so excited that the next morning she was going to wake up by herself for the very first time, using the radio alarm clock we had given her for the occasion. She chose the station carefully (classical was it? maybe soft pop?), but when the radio clicked on at six a.m. in her Los Angeles bedroom it wasn’t music that woke her up. The second plane had just hit its target. Nobody yet had clarity on what was happening, let alone the news media. A fragmented noise skein of unfathomable facts, disbelief, sorrow, and fear came out of the radio that morning. {Read the rest of this post at mothering.com}

Image:
slgckgc under its Creative Commons license

Parent-for-Peace Spotlight: “I’m A Recovering Perfectionist”

Embracing the Flow
by Stephanie Evans Hanson

  •  Hello.  My name is Stephanie, and I am a “Present Past Perfectionist.”  Admission is the first step, right?  Left unchecked, this is how my brain typically works:  I wake up each morning with a to do list in my head, constantly thinking about the next item I need to complete.  I move through the day accomplishing one task after the other, trying to keep up with the daily chores that I have to do, as well as the projects that I invent for myself. (more…)

5 Out-of-the-Box Ways to Make Your Child…”LISTEN!!!”

One of the most frequent questions I get is, How do I get my child to listen to me? What lingers in the roots just beneath this question is, How do I get her to respect me? The two are intimately entwined. As so often happens with Life’s sticky questions, sometimes we can unstick things a bit by turning the question around: rather than How can I get my child to listen to me, we can get far more traction with How can I make myself more “listenable”?

The fact is, you can never “make” your child do or be anything! Oh sure, we’re lulled into the comforting illusion that we can during the very early years, when their sheer existence and protection depends upon us in very basic ways (not to mention we’re way bigger than them!). (more…)

Vaginal Birth Triggers Brain Boost, C-Section Doesn’t: Part of Nature’s Plan for Intelligence?

Along with the cascade of benefits that most Mothering readers already know comes with vaginal birth, new research from Yale has identified yet another: vaginal birth triggers the expression of a protein in baby’s brain cells that optimizes development of the hippocampus — an area central to such “complex behaviors in the adult” as learning, memory, and stress response. C-section delivery may actually impair this protein’s expression.

I find it of interest that earlier this year another study came out linking early nurturing by mothers with larger hippocampal regions in school-aged children. And while the Yale study is very preliminary — using mice, not humans — to me it all points to a notion I hold dear: Nature has an elegant plan for the unfolding of optimal human intelligence (including the required brain structures to mediate that intelligence), and it involves such quaintly natural things as birthing through the birth canal and letting mothers closely nurture their young ones! {Please continue reading at mothering.com}

Tame Back-To-School Stress with Simplicity

Four Ideas for Simplifying Life While Enriching Education

I’ll start by apologizing for even mentioning the BTS-word while summer is still (imho) in full flower. But by now it’s a quaint, old-fashioned notion that vacation extends until Labor Day — ha! These days some students have to devote that three-day weekend to cranking out their first papers or projects.

In my day [best stated in crochety, old-lady voice], we were very excited for back-to-school, in large part, I think, because summer’s pace was soooooo much slower than it tends to be these days. There weren’t all the summer programs, the series of vacations, the catch-up tutoring. There were long, hot days filled with swimming, catching pollywogs, reading comics and Nancy Drew, and walking to the corner store for candy. Maybe a horseback riding or dance lesson sprinkled in occasionally, or a family outing to the river. Rinse and repeat, for 75 days, and you are ready for the refreshing rigor of school. {Read more at mothering.com}

Reconceiving Conception: 5 Likely Suspects in Unexplained Infertility (Part 1)

Maybe you’ve been trying for a year or more to get pregnant and it’s not happening. Maybe you’ve gotten checked out and been given that frustrating non-diagnosis of medically unexplained infertility. They don’t know what’s wrong. You don’t know what’s wrong. What you do know is that you just want to get pregnant!

Once fertility treatment came into its own around twenty years ago, that is where the attention and research money for infertility went. {Read the rest of this post at mothering.com…}

Silver Reflections on Motherhood ~ My Son is 25!

I was taken by the crucible called motherhood a quarter-century ago: my son Ian turns twenty-five today. The baby who was born smack on his auspicious due-date (seven-eleven!) arrived to find a mother in emotional disarray, to say the least. I have said it countless times, in keynote talks…classes for grad students…casual conversations…and even in my book: Motherhood brought me to my knees. Cracked me open. Excavated me. {read rest of post at mothering.com}

Rhythm and Routine for the Slower Days of Summer

When my son and daughter were in school, every June when summer vacation came I used to let out an audible sigh of relief. For one thing, I’m not a natural early bird, but for all of the years of our kids’ infancy and toddlerhood I was of course required to act like one! Once both children were in school, we were all happy to retire the alarm clock when summer arrived — or at least reset it for a more leisurely time.

But I remember the Waldorf teachers often urging us as we set off for summer, “Keep the form.” Meaning, keep some rhythm and structure to the days, even though school is no longer the primary organizing principle. (Some ideas on that in a moment.)  *** Read the rest of this post at mothering.com ***

Images:
Petrov Escarião under its Creative Commons license
kevin dooley under its Creative Commons license
OakleyOriginals under its Creative Commons license