We covered four key signs of stress on the relationship, and some concrete steps to ease that stress. Elly shared a particularly instructive story from her own life with her own husband — illustrating what might be (counterintuitively) a wise move to keep your parenting partnership strong and balanced. (And this doesn’t just apply to new dads wondering about diapering — it can apply to ANY area where us moms can tend to be The Experts!) Click on the orange arrow to hear Elly’s 2-min. anecdote:

Please note Elly’s important clarifying points:  

“How we ourselves were parented comes back to us when we become parents. When a husband asks a wife if he is ‘doing it right’ with a diaper, he may unknowingly be inviting his partner into a space that used to be occupied by his mother. Expecting to be instructed was something my husband had learned and had I stepped in and taken over, it may have too easily set the tone for other aspects of our parenting. I didn’t want take that leadership role: I wanted us to learn together. Had I used a different tone of voice, my husband may have taken it badly, but the words were said with both an internal and an external smile and they felt like liberation to him.

“If a partner has grown up with a dismissive or abandoning parent however, there is always a risk that they are likely to interpret comments in that light–so my same comment that was a gift to my husband could have been felt as dismissal or abandonment by another man with a different upbringing.

“Part of the gift of parenthood is insight into how we and our partner were parented, to see below the surface into our partner’s unique history and to give them opportunities to heal it in the day to day parenting present.”

                                                          

As they say, it takes a village to raise a child. And as I say, it takes a village to raise a parent!If you’re looking for a village haven where you can bring your messiest parenting “failures” and your stressiest family issues… and be held with compassion and guided with expertise… then the C&C Circle might be right up your alley.

We are a group of about 30 who meet twice a week by phone (not everyone each time, of course), where I field all kinds of questions and offer practical guidance, tips and strategies for bringing more harmony into daily parenting life.

In between, we  connect 24/7 via private Facebook group, where alongside my input there is an extraordinary amount of lived wisdom & savvy support shared amongst like-minded parents-in-progress. We also have special events, like intimate, interactive chats coming up with Elly Taylor (see above), and later this year with the legendary Peggy O’Mara.

If hand-holding care & game-changing help would be a soothing balm to your parenting soul, why not drop by the circle as my guest? We meet on 1st and 3rd Thursdays at 11am Pacific, and would welcome your visit! Click on the coupon:

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