Posts Tagged ‘teens’

Digital Dependence: Is the Smartphone Generation Ruined?

Wednesday, August 9th, 2017

Digital-Dependence-Parenting-for-Peace Today I’m spotlighting an essential article about the current smartphone generation in the September issue of The Atlantic: “Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?” The author* is Jean Twenge, a psychologist who studies generational characteristics and the influences that have created significant differences between generations.

[*I forgive her the doomsday title, since she most likely didn’t write it; usually it’s the editorial department who crafts a title that will grab readers.]

Dr. Twenge actually played a key part in Parenting for Peace: though not in the actual book, I referenced her important work in my book proposal. A book proposal is a booklet-length document carefully crafted to make a case that convinces a publisher that your book is even worth publishing. Here is a passage from my (never before published) book proposal, back when my working title (little-known P4P trivia) was Raising Generation PAX: (more…)

Digital Dependence & Social Intelligence: Is Siri Dumbing Down Our Humanity?

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

Is our technological wizardry with its infinite stream of instant answers eroding what makes us most human? Is digital dependence undermining our social intelligence?

During my strolls through Costco, a persistent thought comes to me (besides yum, those pizza samples are good):  If I were an evil genius wanting to erode the nutritional intelligence of a civilization, this would be a good first step: induce mass consumer hypnosis via the big-box store. (Will return to this point in a bit.)

During my infrequent strolls down streets with actual pedestrians, a persistent question comes to me: How will our culture’s mass digital dependence affect this generation’s social intelligence?  (more…)

5 Out-of-the-Box Ways to Make Your Child “LISTEN!!!”

Saturday, July 19th, 2014

MotheringBigImage

One of the most frequent questions I get is, How do I get my child to listen to me? What lingers in the roots just beneath this question is, How do I get her to respect me? The two are intimately entwined. As so often happens with Life’s sticky questions, sometimes we can unstick things a bit by turning the question around: rather than How can I get my child to listen to me, we can get far more traction with How can I make myself more “listenable”? {Find out how by reading the 5 tips at mothering.com}

 

Images:
epSos.de under Creative Commons license

10 Ways to Be the Mom Your Teen Hates

Wednesday, June 19th, 2013

Mom and teen daughterIf you aren’t plagued by at least the passing contemplation that you’re not up to the task of parenting a teen, then you’re not paying attention. Life turns high-octane indeed. The contact highs and lows of staying connected to your adolescent child can be intense, and it’s the lows that get the most press.

Carol Burnett has said about her late daughter Carrie during her teen addiction struggles, “I had to love her enough to let her hate me.” The concept of “love” can be a bit abstract, so today I’m featuring an “offboard guest post” about 10 tangible ways to love a teen that much. And though it is written as if directed just to mothers of daughters, all apply to sons as well — with the possible exception of #3. You may need a slightly more creative way to meet your son’s dates. How about insisting he invite them to #4?!

And one thing to keep in mind — it comes right out of Parenting for Peace: even though your teen seems utterly disinterested in you, he or she will subject you to the most unsparing scrutiny! Your child who no longer looks up to you, literally — but rather, eye to eye with you — so recently saw you as perfection personified but is now trained on you like a heat-seeking scope, watching for you to contradict your ideals, your word, your integrity, and hoping more than anything that you don’t. One of the supreme tests in parenting adolescents lies in their need for the adults around them to be steady, strong and sure in who they are, what they stand for, and whether their actions line up with their words. A tall order indeed. (If yours are still little, start preparing now!)

Now, without further ado…

10 Ways to Be the Mom Your Teen Hates

Author Meghan Welker specializes in articles related to kids, parenting, etc., and is currently the content editor for babysitting.net.

How to Trust in a Wired World

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

How to Trust in a Wired World | Marcy Axness PhDAlong with a good supply of onesies, I routinely counsel expectant parents to stock up on trust. Parenting is a daunting safari into the unknown, and trust is the anxiety antidote when life outruns the reach of our techno-savvy that has us convinced we can figure out and control everything in our lives.

I define trust as “calm reliance upon processes outside of your immediate perception and control,” and it is one of the seven principles that weave through my book Parenting for Peace. For those of us weaned on the information revolution, trust is probably the most subversive P4P principle of them all. When it isn’t overwhelming us, our instant access to infinite amounts of data on any topic has us convinced that by virtue of our techno-savvy, we can indeed figure out and be in charge of every aspect of our lives.

But Life will always manage to outrun your techno-management, trust me. (more…)

Teen Addiction Prevention

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

I pointed out in Part 1 that our culture harbors a common, dangerous misconception about teens — that they need us to drop the reins and let them “do their thing.” But in terms of their brain and social development, they are as tender as they were as infants. So, we need to remain their active guides and examples. Adults staying actively, enthusiastically involved in the lives of their children and students is one of the best teen addiction prevention measures. In addition to the 3 guidelines offered in Part 1, what else do teens need from us during this time when our window of potent influence is so soon to close? (more…)

What Teens Need From Us

Monday, February 4th, 2013

A common misconception is that teens need us to drop the reins. But neurodevelopmentally, they are as tender as infants, so teens need us still, very much. One of the most important books I’ve encountered about parenting during early adolescence is poignantly and aptly titled Our Last Best Shot. Author Laura Sessions Stepp spent two years finding out what teens need for future psychosocial wellbeing and success. She admits in the book that she “wanted to minimize the significance of parents and emphasize the importance of other adults.”

While she discovered the important role other adults do indeed play in the healthiest outcomes for adolescents, Stepp’s conclusion was clear about what teens need: (more…)

Angry Parents

Monday, November 19th, 2012

Angry ParentsNo, Angry Parents isn’t the latest game application for your smartphone, it’s one of the biggest challenges we face when raising children! When we find ourselves as angry parents, it shifts the entire connection dynamic with our kids, and within ourselves. It isn’t a place we want to be, as totally understandable as it is. There are tools that can help us develop more mastery over our own anger, and create more ease and confidence in our parenting.

It is helpful to keep in mind that most of the time, anger is simply a disguise for another feeling. A somewhat overly simplified slogan is nevertheless instructive: mad is really sad. I would add that mad is very often hurt, or some variation. (more…)

5 Out-of-the-Box Ways to Make Your Child…”LISTEN!!!”

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

One of the most frequent questions I get is, How do I get my child to listen to me? What lingers in the roots just beneath this question is, How do I get her to respect me? The two are intimately entwined. As so often happens with Life’s sticky questions, sometimes we can unstick things a bit by turning the question around: rather than How can I get my child to listen to me, we can get far more traction with How can I make myself more “listenable”?

The fact is, you can never “make” your child do or be anything! Oh sure, we’re lulled into the comforting illusion that we can during the very early years, when their sheer existence and protection depends upon us in very basic ways (not to mention we’re way bigger than them!). (more…)

Tame Back-To-School Stress with Simplicity

Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

Four Ideas for Simplifying Life While Enriching Education

I’ll start by apologizing for even mentioning the BTS-word while summer is still (imho) in full flower. But by now it’s a quaint, old-fashioned notion that vacation extends until Labor Day — ha! These days some students have to devote that three-day weekend to cranking out their first papers or projects.

In my day [best stated in crochety, old-lady voice], we were very excited for back-to-school, in large part, I think, because summer’s pace was soooooo much slower than it tends to be these days. There weren’t all the summer programs, the series of vacations, the catch-up tutoring. There were long, hot days filled with swimming, catching pollywogs, reading comics and Nancy Drew, and walking to the corner store for candy. Maybe a horseback riding or dance lesson sprinkled in occasionally, or a family outing to the river. Rinse and repeat, for 75 days, and you are ready for the refreshing rigor of school. {Read more at mothering.com}