Posts Tagged ‘presence’

Pause for Presence: A Personal Reflection

Friday, May 24th, 2013

Marcy & Eve Axness at her solo art showIt recently came time for me to walk my talk! How many times have I cautioned parents, “When we overbook, we overlook”? How often have I invited them to recognize that among a child’s greatest needs is to be really heard, seen and understood? And how that delicate process can get trampled under the weight of a lock-step schedule. One of the biggest obstacles to tranquility and joy in the home is our adult agenda, and sometimes we simply need to pause for presence.

Proud mama with daughter Eve

Last week my daughter Eve graduated from college. And a week prior to that was the Senior Art Exhibition in which her work was specially featured. Both of these once-in-a-lifetime events took place in New York. I live in California. You can begin to see the dilemma. But hey, work is virtual these days. I arranged a place to stay for the week between the senior show and the commencement ceremony, and figured I’d have time to get work done during that week. Hahahaha. (You’re probably way ahead of me.) (more…)

Presence & Attachment: ADHD Treatment?

Thursday, April 25th, 2013

We tend to throw around the word “attachment” a lot when talking about kids and parenting, so let’s make sure we’re all talking about the same thing: attachment is a measure of the security of relationship between a child and those one or two or three adults with whom that child is in consistent contact. We now recognize that healthy (secure) attachment is a fundamental form of nourishment for a child’s growing brain. In particular, attachment fosters rich circuitry in the area of the brain that mediates social and emotional functioning. A parent’s ability to be present for a child is fundamental to fostering this brain circuitry needed to regulate attention — therefore, basic ADHD treatment. Mounting research suggests that the social brain is the basis for the child’s lifelong success — in school, at home, and out in the world! (more…)

New Year’s: Harness the Power of Beginnings

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013

New Year’s is the most famous (infamous??) time to make positive changes to our lives. We can turbo-charge that process — and perhaps avoid the dreaded syndrome of NYRE (New Year’s Resolution Extinction) — when we harness the power of beginnings: the beginning of anything contains within it the seeds of its final flowering.

In every phenomenon the beginning remains always
the most notable moment. — Thomas Carlyle (more…)

When Mothering is a Secret Struggle: Covert Postpartum Depression

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

How crazy does this sound? My children were both in their teens before I realized that I had experienced postpartum depression with both of them. What led to this tardy epiphany? Not the several years of deep therapeutic work with two different therapists and a variety of bodyworkers; not the many years of deep scholarly work pursuing my doctorate in early human development, including the study of pregnancy, birth and postpartum issues; and as you can probably guess, not from my own OB/GYN.

I have Brooke Shields to thank for my big ah-hah. (more…)

In The Beginning…

Friday, November 11th, 2011

In every phenomenon the beginning remains always the most notable moment.Thomas Carlyle•

One thing I’ve learned, through both painful and positive experience, is that the successful flourishing of any project, product, event… or person, is seeded right at the beginning. Imagine setting off in a boat with the intention of sailing to a distant island, but having miscalculated your route by even just a tiny degree: everything will seem fine and dandy for awhile, maybe even for days. But as those tiny degrees of misdirection exponentially add up over many miles, you will at some point realize you are ending up far from where you wanted to be.

A mantra from chaos theory goes, “Sensitive dependence on initial conditions.”

This applies whenever something new is brought into being: cookies, crops, houses, stories, songs, sweaters, people. (more…)