Posts Tagged ‘parent confidence’

The Power of Example = 3 Cool Mothering Hacks

Thursday, May 1st, 2014

Spring Simplicity SeriesIt seem that we moms are always seeking more of something: more harmony with our children, more calm & confidence in our parenting, more connection with our partner, more uninterrupted sleep. (That last one is its own entire book, but…) You can get surprising traction on the rest by putting the power of example to work for you in a few simple ways!

Example — principle #4 of Parenting for Peace — is the ultimate mode of teaching and learning. Meaning, we are most influenced by example. In my book I focus mostly on ways to teach and influence your child through your own example, but let’s zoom out one step and use example to influence YOU. (Which, in a sneaky twist of paradox, is truly the best way to influence others!) {Read on at mothering.com}

 

From Supermom to Sane & Centered Mom

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

*** This post is your invitation to an empowering FREE webinar next Wednesday ***

“5 Tools for Transforming from Stressed Out to Sane & Centered”

Wednesday, April 24 | 10am – 11:30am Pacific5 Weeks to Transform Stressed Out into Sane & Centered | Marcy Axness PhD

Free webinar registration

 

I thank you ten times a day for the depth and richness
yet simplicity your work has introduced into our already
thriving little family. ~
Elizabeth Bolden, mother of two sons

It seems epidemic these days: an undercurrent of stress and anxiety thrums at the heart of parenting, even for the most “conscious” parents (and probably even more for the really conscious, attuned ones — ever more conscious and attuned to our shortcomings!)

How about you — do you feel this parenting stress? Do you perpetually feel like you’re a just a little behind the 8-ball, missing some crucial opportunity that’s going to put your child behind? Yikes, we didn’t play Mozart through speakers on our pregnant belly… we didn’t use the latest pre-reading iPad app… we didn’t get in on that whiz-bang college-prep (or high-school prep, or for that matter, pre-school prep) program! (more…)

Ease Parenting Stress Through Mastery

Thursday, April 11th, 2013

“I had to love her enough to let her hate me.” It was a stunning and very wise thing that Carol Burnett said to the ladies on The View. Burnett said she was scared of her daughter — of saying the wrong thing, making her angry, pushing her away. (She was talking about her late daughter Carrie’s three-year struggle with addiction when she was a teen.)

While Burnett’s situation was extreme, her experience isn’t unusual. Scared, stressed-out parenting has become epidemic: many parents today feel overwhelmed and under-adequate. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Navigating life with kids as a series of crisis management incidents and tactical maneuvers. Not only is that an unpleasant way to live, research shows that parental stress reduces children’s wellbeing. A powerful antidote for stress is action, when it cultivates mastery. (more…)

How A Coach Helps

Monday, January 21st, 2013

A coach helps by holding a vision of success when you, for whatever reason, cannot. A coach sees the powers inside you and guides their unfolding. In singing, soccer, life in general — and in parenting.

How a Coach Helps | Marcy Axness PhDA coach helps by seeing the desired result, knowing the steps for getting you there, and patiently reminding you of those steps. A coach helps as you take those steps, which may feel awkward or unnatural at first. A coach patiently encourages you along what can feel like an interminably long road, sometimes to what feels like an unreachable mountaintop, even when (especially when) you can’t see the destination.

This is especially true when the steps to get to your goal aren’t self-evident. (more…)

What Impairs Attachment, and Who Repairs Attachment?

Sunday, October 7th, 2012

What Impairs Attachment?

What Impairs Attachment, and Who Repairs Attachment?A big pet peeve of mine is the label “attachment disorder.” This is a diagnosis given to kids who have typically experienced severe disruption in the natural order of what should have been the effortless, instinctual connection we’re designed to make from the very beginning. They were prepared at the level of their brains, their hormones and their entire sensing organism to connect, to be skin-to-skin with oxytocin flowing and weaving the powerful bonding foundations for healthy attachment. They expected to connect.

Many children with the most severe cases of “attachment disorder” had this expectation crushed in the most primal way. Can you think of a time when you were totally, ecstatically primed for a connection and it for whatever reason did not happen? Or it happened and then went away without warning or explanation? I’m speaking here of a romantic situation. Remember the disappointment, the deflation of your entire being? Now take that feeling and multiply it by an order of magnitude of a thousand. Ten thousand. As if there was nothing to you but that deflation, that floor pulled out from beneath you. As if the floor pulled out from beneath you was you. (more…)

A 3-Way Toolkit to Ease the Stress of Mothering

Saturday, September 29th, 2012

I’m going to try and keep this post short and to-the-point. A handy toolkit to ease the stress of mothering, regardless of the “brand” of mothering (working, stay-at-home, by fathers, you name it). This is a summary of the gems that emerged from my appearance this week with Mallika Chopra and Sarah Ripard at the California Women’s Conference. The audience loved what we shared, so I wanted to share it more widely.

The stress of motheringFirst, why do so many of us tend towards feeling overwhelmed with the stress of mothering these days? Since humans are by nature meaning-making creatures, it helps a great deal to shine a light of context on any problem. In this case it helps us to not feel crazy, or incompetent, or alone in our suffering!

Here are The Big Three as I call them: overarching reasons for what seems like an epidemic of anxiety that thrums at the heart of parenting: (more…)

From “Supermom” to Sane & Centered Mom

Friday, September 14th, 2012

From Supermom to Sane, Centered MomIt seems epidemic these days: an undercurrent of anxiety thrums at the heart of parenting. Do you perpetually feel like you’re a just a little behind the 8-ball, missing some crucial opportunity that’s going to put your child behind? Yikes, we didn’t play Mozart through speakers on our pregnant belly, we didn’t use the latest pre-reading iPad app, we didn’t get in on that whiz-bang college-prep (or high-school prep, or for that matter, pre-school prep) program!

If this rings a bell, I feel nothing but compassion for you. We’ve all been conditioned to jump (or get jumpy) when the endless smorgasbord of choices glistens before us, beckoning with a glut of possibilities for that perfect something that will fill in the gaps of our insufficiency. (more…)