Posts Tagged ‘child behavior’

Child Behavior Shaped by Parents’ Relationship, not Sexual Orientation

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

I have long said — when coaching parents 1-on-1, when speaking to groups, and in my book Parenting for Peace — that the words and parenting techniques we deploy with our children have far less shaping power on them than what’s going on in our own inner lives. While certain parenting words and actions are more effective than others, ultimately, who we ARE is of greater impact on child behavior and wellbeing than what we DO.

And now there is yet more breaking research that supports this. Scientists at U. Mass actually set out to study the impact of parents’ sexual orientation on behavior in adopted children, but what they found should be of great interest to ALL parents! {Read more at mothering.com}

Parenting for Peace Primer 3-Pack (w/ videos)

Thursday, May 16th, 2013

Marcy Axness on kidsinthehouse.comLooking for more parenting peace and harmony? Less stress, fewer meltdowns and more joy? Look no further…but do look, because this features videos!

Our children learn first and foremost by example — our example. The latest brain science reveals that the circuitry of children’s social brains wires up to mirror their parents’ social-emotional brain functioning. This begins in a very direct, biological manner in infancy, and continues through adolescence.

For this and many other reasons related to the potent teaching power of models, a fruitful question to ask yourself, ideally beginning even before you have a child, is “Am I worthy of my child’s unquestioning imitation?” Daunting, yes. But it’s best to realize early on that whether or not you can answer “Yes” to this question, what you see in the mirror is to a great extent what you will see in your child. And, most likely in your child as an adult.

But don’t despair: Nature seems to have built in a special mechanism that allows us to give our children a fighting chance to surpass us. If our children’s potential was constrained by the limitations of our own accomplishment, we’d be doomed! We’d have to wait until our sixties, seventies, eighties — or maybe never — before we’d feel prepared to be parents. Nature has brilliantly built into the system that our children most powerfully respond to our inner life, and especially to the mental force that results when we continually strive to be more connected, sane and centered. (more…)